Did you hear about...?  OMG, can you believe he would do that?  I heard she got fired.

These are just a few of the ways gossip can begin, with infinite variations.  I think anyone would be lying if they said they never partake in gossip, or perhaps they simply don't recognize what they're doing as gossip.  In some circles, it's even celebrated, with "spilling the tea" becoming a culturally accepted pastime.  But gossip, in all its forms, is one of the worst things we can do for our own energy and for the energy of the person being discussed.

Gossip is rarely kind.  It can sometimes seem harmless, but it is usually done behind someone's back and often involves criticism, judgment, sensationalism, or the sharing of sensitive information.  When we participate in gossip, it creates several harmful energetic effects.

The first is that our words are energy.  Since all energy is connected, when we repeat something about someone that is painful, difficult, or in some way damaging to them, we effectively add energy to an already challenging situation.  Even if it's done behind their back, the energetic effect is real.  As the receiving person, the energy of people talking about you tends to lodge itself in your aura and can take a toll over time.

A good rule of thumb is this: if you wouldn't say it in front of them, you probably shouldn't say it when they're not present either.  Most of us have been in situations where we knew things were being said about us.  Even if nobody told us directly, we could feel it.

Second, every word we speak is a deposit into our karma bank.  We live in a reciprocal universe.  What we put out eventually comes back.  What we say, we attract.  If you choose to participate in gossip, you can almost guarantee that at some point you will become the subject of gossip yourself.

When you treat people with kindness, even when they don't know it, you make a deposit into your kindness account, and the return on that investment is often kindness.  Conversely, when you speak or think something harmful about another person, you create a corresponding energetic pattern that may eventually find its way back to you.

Gossip may feel like entertainment in the moment, but energetically, it is like throwing mud with your bare hands.  Even if it lands somewhere else, you still get dirty.

It says things like, "I can't believe they did that," or "I would never do something like that." Hidden beneath those statements is often the subtle message: "I am somehow better than you."

When we gossip about another person's private, personal, or sensational affairs, we unconsciously signal that we are above the situation being discussed.  This is dangerous because it demonstrates a lack of humility and awareness that life can humble any of us at any time.  In a reciprocal universe, that kind of superiority often becomes an invitation for the same lesson to arrive at our own doorstep.

A better response when gossip enters your life is to sincerely wish the person well. If there’s a way to help, help.  If there isn’t, offer compassion and move on.  Do everything you can to be the end of the line for the gossip, rather than relaying it and multiplying its negative effects.  How you meet another person’s challenge today may directly influence how you navigate your own challenges tomorrow.

The best thing you can do is politely excuse yourself from the tea party and stay present in your own life.

Master Choa Kok Sui taught that, "What comes out of your mouth is more important than what you put in."  The reason is simple: our words, thoughts, and emotions all carry energy.  Every thought we think, every feeling we nurture, and every word we speak creates an energetic effect in the world, and that energy eventually returns to us.

Gossip is particularly harmful because it combines all three.  We think it, we feel it, and then we speak it.

So the next time someone brings gossip to you, simply become aware of what's happening.  Notice whether the person sharing it is feeding their ego by being "in the know."  Silently wish both them and the person they're discussing love, kindness, and well-being.  Then decline the invitation to participate as if it were a harmful drug, because energetically speaking, it is.

You may not get invited to many tea parties afterward, but I guarantee you'll feel better about yourself the next time you look in the mirror.