If you're breathing, there's a good chance that at some point in your life, or recently, you've been on at least one diet. If you're like the average American, you've probably tried many diets. Today, popular ones include Keto, Paleo, or some variation of Whole 30. In my world, "diet" is a bad word. Diets don't work.

di·et1 /ˈdīət/ a special course of food to which one restricts oneself, either to lose weight or for medical reasons.

The key word here is "restricts," and it's for this reason that diets DO NOT WORK. Sure, they may help you reach short-term goals, and if you're in a physical or medical emergency, and your doctor recommends a diet, please listen to your doctor. But generally, we are better off learning how to eat in a way that makes us feel energized rather than drained and sluggish.

When there's no pleasure in something, we'll stop it. If someone tells you to give up all the foods that bring you pleasure, you might do it for a bit, but inside you'll resent it and roll your eyes every time you swallow a bite of quinoa instead of your beloved French toast for breakfast.

The trick is to build awareness around how food makes us feel and then shift our thinking to appreciate the food that makes us feel our best instead of weighing us down. First, identify the foods that give you an abundance of energy, value that energy, and find gratitude in the foods that make you feel good. It becomes a simple game of appreciation rather than resentment. Many of us get stuck with the food that brings emotional satisfaction instead of physical energy. Ironically, when we eat clean and energetic food, emotional satisfaction increases because we feel our best.

​As with most things, just start to notice. Notice what weighs you down and which foods make you feel lighter. Then, with this newfound awareness, the choice is yours about how you want to feel.

One of the simplest ways to master your mind is to start a gratitude practice. When I talk to people about this, I often hear, "Yeah, yeah, I'm grateful for lots of things." But that’s not what I mean. I'm talking about establishing a consistent practice to truly honor your gratitude.

The default human mindset tends to focus on the most interesting things, which are usually the negatives. Our minds are naturally drawn to what isn't perfect, what isn't going well, or what's downright tragic. We've unconsciously practiced this for so long that it runs on autopilot. Finding and living in gratitude, however, takes intentional practice.

The best way to start is to incorporate gratitude into your morning routine and make it physical. No matter how silly or unnecessary your mind tells you it is, get a journal, place it next to your bed, and spend five minutes every morning writing down seven things you are grateful for, no matter how big or small. Here’s my list for today:

It doesn't matter how silly, small, or big each item is. The point is to start flexing your gratitude muscles. Over time, you'll notice that even in the most difficult and heart-wrenching experiences, you can more easily find the silver lining and gratitude in everything, without exception.

Picture this: You're driving home after a long day. You approach a stoplight. There are two lanes, but you can see the right lane must turn right ahead or merge into the left lane. Being in the left lane, you know most people in the right lane plan to speed ahead and cut in. You've been here before, so you've thought ahead and are in the appropriate lane, yet you find yourself annoyed beyond reason, anticipating being cut off by at least one or two cars. Sound familiar?

Everything described above is about emotions and expectations. This scenario might invoke anxiety, anger, righteousness, or simple annoyance. If you're someone who doesn't care at all, kudos to you! But for most people, this situation triggers mild emotional distress or even road rage. This is an opportunity to examine emotions and learn to manage them.

This scenario is personal to me. I used to be the guy who'd get so angry when someone sped ahead and cut the line. We all want to get home, right? What makes you more important than me and my family? However, I’m proud to say I now see this as an opportunity to be kind, control myself, and protect my inner peace.

I realized this was all about my expectations—that others are aware of me, that they'll be kind and respectful, and that I somehow deserve this. When I decided to change my expectations, everything changed. Now, when I find myself in this situation, I silently ask the universe, "Please give me at least one car that needs to merge in front of me." Usually, the universe provides, sending me the cars I need to practice emotional resilience and kindness. If by chance it doesn’t, I’m still happy because my route home is smooth and unmarred by unrealistic expectations. It's a welcome, pleasant surprise.

It’s all about expectations, and that’s all we can control. Aligning your expectations and emotions with the respect and kindness you hope to receive from others is not giving up—it’s empowerment.

​​Happy zipper merging to you all!